There’s your sign!

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SHE’S just not that into you if…

She brings a friend along when you’re supposed to hang out “alone”. More than once.

She won’t hug, kiss, or make out with you (and gives you a funny look afterwards that she can’t quite hide if any of those DO happen).

She won’t stand very close to you in public (or sit too close either). Not even an accidental graze.

She never goes on a date with you (even though she says she will) or doesn’t make any efforts to hang out.

She doesn’t call you and/or she doesn’t pick up when you call. Avoiding someone is much easier with texts.

She talks about her ex-boyfriend WAY too much. Maybe even compares y’all. In front of you.

She makes funny faces (disgusted, mostly) if you embarrass her or talk about something she thinks is stupid. There’s no hiding that.

Just like men, women will get ahold of you eventually (when they get tired of waiting on YOU) if they want a future with you.

We WILL make an effort. Trust me.

Sometimes I’m the queen of not being interested in guys and believe me- I’ve done everything on that list and the guys still had no idea I wasn’t into them. Whatever.

So to the men reading this, now you have some sort of idea.

If one or all of these things happen to you, I suggest don’t waste your time on the gal. Plus us women do love the chase just as much as you do so don’t make it too easy on us.

WARNING: all women are not the same so these rules may not apply to some.

There ya have it!

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Reversing my dating luck: step 2

desperate-women

 

When we are lonely for companionship or whatever the case may be, we tend to get desperate a.k.a. going out with that guy from your yoga class who you can’t seem to figure out if he’s straight OR meeting that guy from the bar that looks like he could be the next Ted Bundy. I could go on and on…

When I say desperate, I particularly mean:

 

a) lowering our standards

and

b) lowering our expectations.

 

Why do we do this to ourselves??? There are plenty of other fish in the sea! (I despise that saying even if it does make sense)

 

Usually when I go down this dark road, I snap out of it just in time to see the dead end looming up ahead, but not everyone is so fortunate.

I know of women who are NEVER single. Literally. They break up or get dumped by their boyfriend then a week later (if that) they have found another guy who they just KNOW is “the one”. It’s like a vicious cycle that doesn’t end. I can honestly say, I am not that type. Thank goodness.

 

It’s kind of like Shallow Hal. Hal sees what he WANTS to see, which isn’t what is actually in front of him. I think we do that.

SO WHAT if he’s a fat slob and jobless- he compliments me and will get a gym membership and a job when we start dating. SO WHAT if he’s barely 5 feet tall and I can’t wear heels around him, once I fall in love with him none of that will matter.

 

Now of course I try not to be THAT shallow, but I do have my standards.

 

Instead of getting to that stage, how can we reverse it to where it either doesn’t happen at all OR flies by with a passing glance?

 

Here’s how (according to me, not some dating guru):

1) Surround yourself with friends and/or family (people you love and have good times with)

2) Make a list of all the things you can’t do if you had a significant other (trust me, the list is long and pretty awesome)

3) Hang out with people who aren’t in relationships and/or don’t talk about how their boyfriend or girlfriend is just “so amazing” 24/7

 

I’ve realized when I’m not around people who are “taken”, I feel better about that aspect of my life and myself. It’s not a constant reminder- “hey you’re single and alone!”

But it does help with not constantly reminding you that you’re single and, dare I say it, FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!

Didn’t think of that, did you?

My intentions of this post are NOT to discourage you from dating or getting a boyfriend/girlfriend in any way, it’s to help ease the pain (if there is any) of that tough in-between relationship stage.

So instead of laying around on the couch, watching romantic comedies, wishing you had a boyfriend as you desperately shovel ice cream into your mouth, you could be out having a blast with your pals and not even thinking about relationships!

It’s more healthy and less expensive since you won’t have to buy a whole new wardobe due to the weight gain from all of the ice cream and candy bars you’ve eaten.

 

 

C

Is being a “hopeless romantic” REALLY hopeless?

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The definition of a hopeless romantic is someone who’s in love with love. The whole idea of it. The cheesy romantic Nicholas Sparks’ novels, the PDA…well…everywhere, the crazy bombardment of roses and chocolates on Valentine’s Day…

The list could go on forever, but I’m not going to torture me or you with that.

If you have hope that in your future you will find the “one”, does that make you a romantic? A hopeless one at that?

I honestly don’t like the word hopeless. I personally think almost every situation (in the dating world) has some shred of hope. It may be a minute shred, maybe even microscopic, but it’s still something.

I learned if I look at all of the negativity in a situation, take my Friday night disaster for example, I will mope around and it will solve absolutely nothing!

But if I take a step back and dab my tears away (wouldn’t want to bring on the eye wrinkles prematurely), I see that it’s not all bad.

Due to my Friday night trauma, I saw that the guy in question most likely wouldn’t have been the boyfriend I wanted in the end and if things wouldn’t have gone great then I’d be torturing myself by seeing him at work.

That’s another thing!

Do not date coworkers! No matter how cute and charming they may be. Even though it kind of hurts to say this, this is especially true for guys. Since, you know, us women can be a little crazy from time to time.

Anyways- you’re possibly thinking, “but he broke my heart! How can I see the upside to that?!”

This took me FOREVER to figure out. I’ve had my heart broken just like everyone else and I’m still practically just as exuberant and feisty today, if not more so, than I was before it all happened. I learned my lesson and even though it took about 4 years to get over it, I finally did it.

And let me tell you…it was completely worth it! Every painful memory or tear that I shed helped me move on to the next part of my dating life, which consists of being single and learning what the hell I truly want in a significant other. It’s not an easy task!

I’ve been single for about 2ish years. It’s not exactly my choice, but then again it is. I’m a picky girl and it’s brought me to where I am today.

So after having said all of that, I don’t believe anyone is a “hopeless” romantic. I think deep down everyone is a hopeful romantic. Even the hardcore pimps and players out there. I know you stash those romantic Valentine’s Day cards in your sock drawer. 😉

C

A real crowd pleaser

I watched one of the best “feel good” movies ever yesterday…and today. Yes, I watched it twice. Wait, 3 times. That’s besides the point. Anyways…

Not only does it have amazing actors and actresses in it, but the story line is everything great rolled into 1 movie. There’s romance, heartache, love, happiness, adventure, gumption. Every time I watch it, it inspires me. No one dies, no one has racy (way too detailed) sex. No one does drugs and gets caught up in a gang war. No one makes you want to slit your wrists. It’s just great! It takes place in 2 beautiful areas and the landscape is just breathtaking. While I watched it, I sat there thinking, “this is a really good movie.” That doesn’t happen often. I usually get antsy and bored pretty fast.

The only thing that would make this movie better would be if you watched it around Christmas time.

Alright, alright…it’s…drum roll please…The Holiday. The 4 main characters are just perfect for the roles they play. I am a little biased because the actresses are some of my favorites, but I promise it’s amazing. Cameron Diaz, Jude Law (yummy!), Kate Winslet, Jack Black; they truly bring the story to life. I’m sure almost everyone reading this has already seen it and is wondering “it wasn’t avatar” or whatever other blockbuster has hit since 2007, but I have different tastes than some people. I don’t like a lot of the movies that take the #1 spot at the ticket office. Most are overrated, although I did love The Avengers.

I don’t want to say anything about this movie because I fear I will give away all the good stuff so this post will be short.

It’s great from start to finish. It doesn’t drag out any scenes which is a relief. I will say this movie is good for almost any occasion. Date night. Girls night. Alone night. Family night. That’s what makes it even better. I rate this movie 10 out of 10 stars! Gold ones.

I am glad I bought it because I will be wearing it out in the future!

This movie has a little somethin’ for everyone! A romantic comedy without all of the totally mushy romance. It’s a win-win!

Hope everyone out there has a good night!

-Candice-

Lions, tigers, and bears

Why do men always say, “I don’t know what it is about you” in romantic novels right before they tell the woman they love them? To the chubby or bitter or poor or sarcastic or whatever kind of woman no less. I’ve read so many books lately where that’s the line men use. Do they use that as a pickup line to make the woman feel special and/or mysterious? I wouldn’t put it past them. The sad part is, it works! Or in these books I read it does.

Is that all it takes to snag a good woman? Or does it seem that many authors (a lot of them being female) are making women look desperate? When it comes to my girl friends and relationships, we seem to either be a) reluctant due to a disastrous past relationship OR b) eager due to a great past relationship. Why do we use our past relationships when being introduced to new ones? I am asking so many questions and not really giving any of my answers. I’ll begin now. I think…

1. Why do men always say, “I don’t know what it is about you” in romantic novels right before they tell the woman they love them? I do believe this is a pickup line some men use and it does work. Women love feeling like they are a one-of-a-kind find and this line makes them feel super special. It also gives us that sense that no matter how many feelings we show or weird things we admit, we still have some mystery left. I know that’s something I want to feel in a relationship. I don’t want to be just another girlfriend that looks like all of the others and acts like them too. I don’t think anyone does.

2. I just answered that second question with the first…

3. Is that all it takes to snag a good woman? No, that is NOT all it takes to snag a good woman no matter what books say. Women are full of nooks and crannies that need to be filled and/or discovered. The way I see it, women are like mazes and the men are the mice. They run through the maze, on the right track, thinking they have it all figured out then BAM! they hit a dead end and have to start all over. I will say, I have felt this way about men too, but from what I’ve heard my ENTIRE life is that women are the more complicated sex even though I have had a fair share of being very confused by men. So we share a lot of the same traits. Did I just shoot myself in the foot by saying that? Damn..another question I was asking myself. Anyways…

4. Or does it seem that many authors (a lot of them being female) are making women look desperate? Having read quite a few books lately, most of which were the romantic comedy type, authors do sometimes make women seem a bit desperate and easy. Anyone who knows the definition of a woman knows there is no “easy” anywhere in it. Sometimes we do get soft when we see a sexy shirtless guy with his muscles bulging, but I would bet that at least 50% of women would not just lay down and let him ravish her. Or maybe I’m wrong, but I hope I’m right for the sake of women. I’m not saying this would be an easy task if the sexy man mentioned above walked up to me and gave me one of those Hollywood kisses, but it is possible. Unless it was Ian Somerhalder or Hugh Jackman.

That’s a whole different story, but I will admit that I would not give them my “goodies” on the first date. Women, especially the bitter and bruised, do not swoon very easily no matter how attractive the guy is so all of those books out there being read by tween and teenage girls are just setting them up for a fairy tale ending that most likely doesn’t exist. Unless you’re Kate Middleton. So that’s totally not fair when they get out in the “real” world and discover most (NOT ALL) men are animals. Animals that are carnivores, but don’t have cute and cuddly tendencies like lions, tigers, and bears, OH MY!

5. Why do we use our past relationships when being introduced to new ones? I believe the answer to this question is simple. We don’t want to get hurt again. It’s a risky business out there in the dating world no matter how beautiful you are. I do think that we can sometimes set ourselves up for failure in a relationship by comparing the guy to our past boyfriends. That’s not fair at all, is it? Nope, but we still do it because we become bitter and guarded after that one man grabs our heart and squeezes it into a million lonely pieces. We can’t be completely guilty for that because it’s a defense mechanism. The human body has lots of those. In order for us to let someone new into our life and possibly hearts, we have to give them a chance. It could be Prince Charming knocking at the door and we will never know unless we answer it. They make think the same about us. That we are man-eating monsters much like the lions, tigers, and bears, OH MY!  Some women are, but a lot don’t mean to be. No matter how tough we look or act we have a soft spot inside, you men just have to work a little harder to find it.

I think I’ve answered all of the questions I asked myself. Yay me.

I’ve began to think we have completely let all romance fly out the windows. To prove this, I had to look up romance because I forgot what it meant exactly.

Ro-mance- (noun) “A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.”

Well that explains why the line men use about us being mysterious works…I’m no love or relationship guru, but I have had experience with it. Some good. Some bad. I am here to tell you that no matter how badly you’ve been heartbroken you will heal eventually and become the best person you can be. And wiser! So keep your chin up and answer the door when a possible Prince Charming comes knocking.

Until then…stare at Ian and Hugh. 😉

-Candice-