Before I share my thoughts on this topic, I just want to cover all my bases and point out what I’m about to discuss does NOT refer to ALL men so don’t get offended because I’m not necessarily talking about YOU. And it is NOT an angry post- just energetic. 🙂
Okay, having said that…here goes.
I, and probably millions of other women out there, would love to know why guys are so furiously hard to read. It’s like they’re a jigsaw puzzle from hell where only some of the puzzle pieces fit and there’s only 495 pieces instead of 500.
The funny thing is, when I’ve mentioned this to guy friends, they tell me “we are actually easy to read” or “simple”.
Stop. No. Neg-a-tive.
You’re about as “simple” to figure out as a calculus equation and everyone knows how horrible I am in that department.
Guys— Have you ever tried to get a direct and truthful answer from a guy when it comes to matters of the heart? Unless you’re gay or otherwise interested in men, I doubt it. And I’m not referring to “guy talk” either.
Do you like me?
B. “we’ll see”
C. “kind of”
Seriously, what kind of answers are those?! It’s easy…
Trust me, if the answer is “no” then that’s fine, we WILL get over it. Yes it’ll sting a little bit, but it’s easier to deal with than the “maybe”s, “possibly”s, or “we’ll see”s.
Here’s what I’ve come in contact with several times since I entered the dating world: (you may recognize some or all of them, ladies)
A) You text me out of the blue after not speaking to me for a couple months then YOU set up a day and time to hang out with me then POOF! You cancel due to “unplanned work related circumstances”. I know you have a stressful job, but it seems pretty convenient for that to happen on the night you invited me over.
B) You put your hand on my back or stand a little too close to me when we obviously aren’t cramped in some small broom closet of any sort. There’s plenty of room by me, scoot over bro. Even if I may like it.
C) You call me pet names like baby, sugar, sexy. Yes, they can be cute depending on when you use them and make me feel special, but not if you call all of your other girl “friends” those. My name is _______. Period. The end. (Unless otherwise specified.)
D) You flirt obviously enough for others to notice. Other males to notice for that matter, yet you claim to “not be able to tell when girls flirt with you”. Or claim to not like me. Then stop flirting!!!
Why can’t you either stop all of that nonsense or tell me you like me? I won’t get down on one knee and propose to you. If you think women are like that, the majority of us is not. I have many gal pals and NONE of them have ever proposed to their man when he finally said “I like you” or even “I love you.” Crazy, right?
-I’ve actually had to tell my ex boyfriend that at 1 point or another. The part about if he says he’s into me, don’t get scared because I’m not proposing. Yep, I did. He had commitment issues. Obviously.
You either need to back off, act like a friend (no touching, flirting, etc.) or step up to the plate. Women don’t have time for games. We are (among other things) biological ticking time bombs looking for our soul mates -not for some kid pretending to be our man.
I don’t think men understand (or even care sometimes) how much they hurt and confuse women on a daily basis.
I mean, yeah, I understand some guys are shy and/or quiet (so am I), but it’s okay to let us know in the form or fashion that YOU’RE most comfortable with that you’re into us or not instead of leading us on.
The technology we have these days makes it pretty damn easy to share your feelings without even seeing the other person’s face. HELLO?! Welcome to the 21st century! Ever heard of a telephone? Texting? Facebook? E-mail? Of course we would prefer the face to face interaction, but if we are really into you, we won’t care! Honestly.
In the past, I’ve been one of those girls that couldn’t say she wasn’t interested in a guy for the fear of hurting their feelings or breaking their heart.
I understand, really I do.
I’ve grown up since then and now I tell the guy if I’m into him or not when the subject arises or when he flips on his heavy flirting switch, instead of leading him on. I know how much I hate it; therefore, I do my absolute best to avoid doing it to others.
***However this does not make me perfect or superior in any way, shape, or form. Trust me, it took awhile to get to this spot. It doesn’t develop overnight.
If I can do it that means other women have been doing it; therefore, men are capable of doing it too.
So please spare us and see what happens when you tell us your feelings. You may enjoy the outcome.