One of the most pitiful things…

When boys are sick. It’s got to be the most sad thing to see. Yes, I’m aware that some milk it for all it’s worth but not every single one does it. Not purposefully at least.

It’s like seeing a puppy beg for food. A baby cry. An elderly person cross the road with their walker.

It’s PITIFUL!

My boyfriend got food poisoning from our dinner yesterday and had to stay home from work today. So after I worked an almost 9 hour shift I shot over and arrived with medicine and some foods that help with tummy issues.

I walk in to the sight of my love huddled up on the couch under a blanket with his hoodie on and his glasses. Too adorable for his own good. I swear! When us women are sick, we just look terrifying. Like death warmed up after being hit by a bus.

No offense.

I know my boyfriend is sick, but he probably attempted to look as sad as possible. So I took the bait and cooked us some Mac and cheese and cleaned up his kitchen and…yeah. Oh well. Shit happens.

I guess we fall for it because they lose their masculinity and we feel we need to rescue them like they do with us. Their helplessness is adorable.

C

Long lost blogger: FOUND!

I’m alive!

A lot has been happening.
Remember that guy I started going out with on dates a few months ago? Well, he didn’t murder me and everything is fine. Actually, it’s very good. He’s now my boyfriend.

Yep, you heard me. Boyfriend. Not boy friend, but boyfriend. And I’m in love.

(Insert barfing noises here)

Totally joking.

But yes. We’ve been officially together since early March and it has been great. He’s a wonderful guy and I’m so lucky to have met him.

He’s pretty much the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.

Especially compared to the 2 train wrecks I had before him. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t know a great guy when I dated one. Until now.

So aside from him and my new job (yes, I quit Starbucks! Woo!), I have been pretty damn busy. But more about all of that later.

Just wanted to tell y’all, I’m alive and wasn’t murdered by a crazy guy online.

And soon I will tell you some of my juicy (mostly) experiences I’ve had since my last post.

I missed writing. Can’t wait to start again!

Until later…

C

Online Dating- foe or friend?

20140128-182226.jpg

Online dating has become more than just a myth. It has become a reality.

I’ve tried it a couple times just for the hell of it. Every time I get on there I have these things happen:

A) weird, creepy, unattractive guys always find me.

B) when I do go out on a limb and message a guy first, I get either no reply- even though their profile lists how they are so nice and love conversation OR “no thanks”. As if my attempt to just talk to them was too much.

C) when I meet guys in person, I see the reason they are on there. Not because they are unattractive, but because they are either awkward or only want sex. Lots of sex.

So basically dating websites are where cowardly, “shy” fellas can attempt to get laid as they call it without the face to face interaction and possible rejection.

I’ve been approached with messages from guys (who don’t exactly look like Josh Brolin) saying unoriginal and grotesque things like “Would you like to go on a date with me? I’ll give you the D later.” Really? How could I possibly turn down that offer?

So I’ve made my conclusion about online dating websites- don’t do it unless you’re ready to: get approached inappropriately, only want unsatisfying sexual encounters from guys who only brag about their “attributes” ONLINE, or really don’t give a shit what people think about you. If you’re semi sensitive like me, it’ll just hurt your feelings when messages and such from handsome men don’t flood your inbox.

There ya have it.

And if you do happen to meet anyone at all online- I don’t care if they say they’re a virgin preacher who lives with his parents- take someone with you and go somewhere incredibly PUBLIC. That’s all I ask. There’s been recent cases where rapists have made appearances on these websites.

That crazy tattoo lady

20140122-121433.jpg

Random thought- I have decided I will most likely (about 98% sure) be one of those crazy pet owner/lovers that gets a portrait of their beloved pet(s) tattooed on their body somewhere when the time is right a.k.a. when I have a sufficient amount of extra money. Yep. That’ll be me. I may even get a picture of my favorite animal too. Whenever I decide what animal that is.

The New Years resolution

20140102-081838.jpg

I know there have probably been thousands of New Years resolution posts, but I feel that if I actually write it down it may come true.

This is a realistic one that doesn’t involve weight loss and all the typical topics that people seem to fail at. For the most part.

Okay, here goes-

I’m going to start putting myself out there. I’m a pretty shy individual when it comes to meeting new people. Especially men. I’m tired of sitting with my awesome friends who are either in great relationships or have guys/girls flocking to them because they just don’t hide their crazy cool personalities. I realized that I will be alone for longer than I like if I don’t change this in some way.

So cheers to this. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Years and that it was full of family, friends, food, and love.

Happy 2014 everyone! 🙂

There’s your sign!

20131212-174553.jpg

SHE’S just not that into you if…

She brings a friend along when you’re supposed to hang out “alone”. More than once.

She won’t hug, kiss, or make out with you (and gives you a funny look afterwards that she can’t quite hide if any of those DO happen).

She won’t stand very close to you in public (or sit too close either). Not even an accidental graze.

She never goes on a date with you (even though she says she will) or doesn’t make any efforts to hang out.

She doesn’t call you and/or she doesn’t pick up when you call. Avoiding someone is much easier with texts.

She talks about her ex-boyfriend WAY too much. Maybe even compares y’all. In front of you.

She makes funny faces (disgusted, mostly) if you embarrass her or talk about something she thinks is stupid. There’s no hiding that.

Just like men, women will get ahold of you eventually (when they get tired of waiting on YOU) if they want a future with you.

We WILL make an effort. Trust me.

Sometimes I’m the queen of not being interested in guys and believe me- I’ve done everything on that list and the guys still had no idea I wasn’t into them. Whatever.

So to the men reading this, now you have some sort of idea.

If one or all of these things happen to you, I suggest don’t waste your time on the gal. Plus us women do love the chase just as much as you do so don’t make it too easy on us.

WARNING: all women are not the same so these rules may not apply to some.

There ya have it!

~~

The woes of womanhood…

20131021-195709.jpg

Let me just say one thing right now– being a woman SUCKS.

And let me just say one other thing right now– no matter what we tell you men about our lives, experiences, thoughts– you still have NO idea what it’s like to be us.

Example #1– the photo above. That’s my pregnancy test I took earlier today. My first one ever, in fact. That little stick can be the cause for tears– either of joy or dread. Today was joy for me. Mostly because it was (re)assurance in a BIG way.

Don’t get me wrong, sex is an awesome, wonderful thing, but damn! That fit of sensual passion that lasts about 20 minutes (hopefully) or so can cause quite a tizzy in a woman’s emotions. Well, mine anyways. Especially when it wasn’t satisfying for me. I won’t even go into that tonight.

I even went the extra 10 (not just 1!) miles and used all sorts of protection. Even went as far to use it as a deal or no deal kind of thing– use condoms and other rightfully appropriate actions during and after sex or it’s not happening buddy.

It seems even those didn’t calm my mind. It’s like once the “could I be pregnant?” thought enters a woman’s mind, it doesn’t leave until she has reassured herself in as many ways as possible. Even if that means telling all of her close friends about the situation and getting their 2 cents on it.

And it seems no matter how many “dude, you’re fine”‘s I get, that doesn’t help either.

So that’s where the pregnancy test comes in– the only assurance out there that truly calms my jittery and anxious mind.

So…why does the mere thought of pregnancy scare the living shit out of me? Because it takes several key components to make it successful: money, a significant other, and a stable environment- none of which I truly have.

Raising a child is not in my life plans at the moment. Not even close.

I want to raise that child properly.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way for me not to freak out is to not have sex anymore until I’m either in:

A) a very serious relationship

Or

B) married

Yep, those are my new options.

Or I could become a nun.

The end.

C

The ex is not a disappearing act

20131018-194400.jpg

Lately I have been thinking about my ex boyfriends too frequently. I don’t know if it’s because I miss/love(d) them OR if it’s because they are unattainable (whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally).

The break-up between you and the now ex boyfriend wasn’t painful enough so they remain in our thoughts and possibly even our fantasies and torture the shit out of us. Or that’s how I feel.

My most recent (and most liked) ex boyfriends make appearances in my dreams, nightmares, and thoughts way too often. I never really remember the dreams about them clearly, but I know one thing. Or should I say, feel one thing- I know I miss them. That’s bad enough.

The last I heard they both have serious girlfriends and I am still single. Am I just waiting for a guy to come along that reminds me of one of them? Or am I just in a love rut? Maybe both?

Do ex boyfriends really ever leave our minds? Or are they doomed to haunt us forever?

Right now, it feels like the latter.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Pretty please.

C

Communication is key

20130728-085848.jpg

Before I share my thoughts on this topic, I just want to cover all my bases and point out what I’m about to discuss does NOT refer to ALL men so don’t get offended because I’m not necessarily talking about YOU. And it is NOT an angry post- just energetic. 🙂

Okay, having said that…here goes.

I, and probably millions of other women out there, would love to know why guys are so furiously hard to read. It’s like they’re a jigsaw puzzle from hell where only some of the puzzle pieces fit and there’s only 495 pieces instead of 500.

The funny thing is, when I’ve mentioned this to guy friends, they tell me “we are actually easy to read” or “simple”.

Stop. No. Neg-a-tive.

You’re about as “simple” to figure out as a calculus equation and everyone knows how horrible I am in that department.

Guys— Have you ever tried to get a direct and truthful answer from a guy when it comes to matters of the heart? Unless you’re gay or otherwise interested in men, I doubt it. And I’m not referring to “guy talk” either.

Do you like me?

A. “maybe”

B. “we’ll see”

C. “kind of”

D. “possibly”

Seriously, what kind of answers are those?! It’s easy…

A. YES.

B. NO.

Trust me, if the answer is “no” then that’s fine, we WILL get over it. Yes it’ll sting a little bit, but it’s easier to deal with than the “maybe”s, “possibly”s, or “we’ll see”s.

Here’s what I’ve come in contact with several times since I entered the dating world: (you may recognize some or all of them, ladies)

A) You text me out of the blue after not speaking to me for a couple months then YOU set up a day and time to hang out with me then POOF! You cancel due to “unplanned work related circumstances”. I know you have a stressful job, but it seems pretty convenient for that to happen on the night you invited me over.

B) You put your hand on my back or stand a little too close to me when we obviously aren’t cramped in some small broom closet of any sort. There’s plenty of room by me, scoot over bro. Even if I may like it.

C) You call me pet names like baby, sugar, sexy. Yes, they can be cute depending on when you use them and make me feel special, but not if you call all of your other girl “friends” those. My name is _______. Period. The end. (Unless otherwise specified.)

D) You flirt obviously enough for others to notice. Other males to notice for that matter, yet you claim to “not be able to tell when girls flirt with you”. Or claim to not like me. Then stop flirting!!!

Why can’t you either stop all of that nonsense or tell me you like me? I won’t get down on one knee and propose to you. If you think women are like that, the majority of us is not. I have many gal pals and NONE of them have ever proposed to their man when he finally said “I like you” or even “I love you.” Crazy, right?

-I’ve actually had to tell my ex boyfriend that at 1 point or another. The part about if he says he’s into me, don’t get scared because I’m not proposing. Yep, I did. He had commitment issues. Obviously.

You either need to back off, act like a friend (no touching, flirting, etc.) or step up to the plate. Women don’t have time for games. We are (among other things) biological ticking time bombs looking for our soul mates -not for some kid pretending to be our man.

I don’t think men understand (or even care sometimes) how much they hurt and confuse women on a daily basis.

I mean, yeah, I understand some guys are shy and/or quiet (so am I), but it’s okay to let us know in the form or fashion that YOU’RE most comfortable with that you’re into us or not instead of leading us on.

The technology we have these days makes it pretty damn easy to share your feelings without even seeing the other person’s face. HELLO?! Welcome to the 21st century! Ever heard of a telephone? Texting? Facebook? E-mail? Of course we would prefer the face to face interaction, but if we are really into you, we won’t care! Honestly.

In the past, I’ve been one of those girls that couldn’t say she wasn’t interested in a guy for the fear of hurting their feelings or breaking their heart.

I understand, really I do.

I’ve grown up since then and now I tell the guy if I’m into him or not when the subject arises or when he flips on his heavy flirting switch, instead of leading him on. I know how much I hate it; therefore, I do my absolute best to avoid doing it to others.

***However this does not make me perfect or superior in any way, shape, or form. Trust me, it took awhile to get to this spot. It doesn’t develop overnight.

If I can do it that means other women have been doing it; therefore, men are capable of doing it too.

So please spare us and see what happens when you tell us your feelings. You may enjoy the outcome.

C

There’s bad then there’s disastrous

life-as-we-know-it-bad-date-w724

 

The world of dating is a VERY scary place to begin with. Putting yourself out there is a ballsy move which I’ve bravely done many times just like billions of women do every day/all the time. I’m not a big fan of waiting.

What I experienced tonight wasn’t even a date and it was horrible. Actually, come to think of it, it was one of the worst times I’ve ever had with a guy I was romantically interested in. Yes, “was” as in past tense because I am definitely no longer interested.

No, I’m not exaggerating.

There are a few things I did that I shouldn’t have:

1. Broke my “no dating a younger guy” rule

2. Chased him instead of letting him chase me

3. Entertained the idea of dating a coworker

4. Assumed the guy in question picked up on my flirting and perceived his return flirting as romantic feelings for me

Those 4 things that I did sabotaged me from the beginning. I basically sabotaged myself in this situation. Yes, that sounds right.

I’m so embarrassed of how tonight (2.5-3 hours that we hung out) went that I’m going to spare you the details because it may cause you to slam your head into your computer monitor and/or keyboard repeatedly.

It was a disaster to put it mildly.

So learn from my mistakes because I sure did. That’ll be the last time I do any of those 4 mistakes again. Period. Especially all of them combined.

The end.

C