When life cooperates…errr…mostly

Events. Relationships. Jobs. Money.

It’s so nice when all of that works out, but does it ever all work out at once? Not hardly. Not in my life at least, but 3 out of 4 ain’t bad, eh?

In order to be happy with my life, I’ve learned to be thankful. That’s insanely hard to do honestly. So I try. I try to think of what all I have in my life that’s good. As I list the things, it becomes apparent that I have way more to be happy about than I originally thought.

So on the days where I’m just depressed because my life and possessions aren’t the same as more wealthier people around me, I just stop and remind myself that there’s tons of people who are less fortunate than me.

Tons. In this country. In other countries. TONS. It’s like complaining about the internet on my iPhone not being fast enough. There’s millions of people around the world who don’t even have food or shelter let alone cell phones. That’s just a small example of course, but you get the jest of it.

My boyfriend has helped me realize there’s a lot to be thankful about. His life hasn’t been nearly as complicated and crazy as mine in the past, so he’s just naturally (9 times out of 10) a more cheerful person. Well, except when something doesn’t go his way exactly then he tends to understand why I’m pissy, but still. He reminds me of what I DO have when I’m down.

It’s wonderful and pretty much mandatory to surround yourself with positive people in order to live a healthier life. Being negative is so bad for you. I know, obviously, one cannot be happy and cheerful 24/7 but at least we can try.

My new job is putting me to the test. I work at a high end spa here and deal with very wealthy people of all kinds and even celebrities sometimes (whom I can’t mention so don’t even get your hopes up). Sounds fun? Only 75% of the time because those types of people can sometimes be pretty damn rude and ungrateful, but that’s their problem. Not mine. I just have to keep a smile plastered to my face and help them to the best of my ability and not focus on their new Prada purse or Rolex watch or whatever the case may be.

I don’t work as a massage therapist by the way. Long story short- it’s not for me. Maybe one day, but not right now.

I’ll tell you about that some other time.

So there ya have it. I’ve been stressed lately because of car issues and job issues and as always, money issues, but I believe eventually it’ll work out. It has for me in the end anyways.

Just keep trying and stay focused on the things that really matter in life. You have to enjoy life because this is the only one (if you don’t believe in reincarnation) you get!

C

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So easy to say…

Example:

When people are in happy, romantic relationships, it’s so easy for them to tell their single (and perhaps desperate/lonely) friends that the right “one” will come along, but when they go through a breakup they turn right back into the true cynic that they really are.

Do we truly believe the right “one” will ever come along or are we destined to remain pessimists who just hope they will find someone?

Life events happen that turn us towards both sides of pessimism and optimism.

You get your heart broken. You lose your job. You fail a class.

You fall in love. You get a promotion. You make straight A’s.

Can you only be one or the other?

I honestly don’t think someone can only be a pessimist or only an optimist. Even the most pessimistic people will feel a tingle of joy or happiness deep down inside when something great happens to them. Even the most optimistic people will feel a tinge of grief or unhappiness deep down when something horrible happens to them.

In relationships, whether it be friends, family, or romantic, I think there is a balance you have to create within yourself. You have to appreciate the pleasant times and grieve the tragic ones without dwelling on either of them. Once you dwell, you will focus too much on the good or the bad and when the opposite happens it will tear you apart more and more.

Throughout my life, I’ve gotten my heart brokenĀ  just like everyone else. The people I turn to first? My best friends. Every time I stress to them that I’m either not cut out for the romantic life or just seem to attract losers, they always say “you’ll find the right guy when you least expect it” OR “he’s out there”. That’s so hard to hear. It’s nearly impossible to keep that optimistic mindset after going through a traumatic and heart breaking event such as the guy you love breaking up with you.

Why is optimism so hard to hear when we are down and out?

I have caught myself saying these things to my friends and I just want to slap myself. They (and I) don’t want to hear that when we are going through it.

Why can’t we be honest with ourselves and our friends and just say “you may never find the right guy for you”?

Because it’s depressing and pessimistic.

Is it in our human nature to naturally be pessimistic because we enjoy being miserable?

oEhNT

It seems to me that being realistic is easier to do even if it means being a pessimist. To stay positive all the time and never think negatively about a situation is unbearable. But so is thinking negatively all the time.

Are optimists getting their hopes up just to be let down?

 

C

Delightful Curves

I just want to start off by saying that as I become more aware of the curvy women in the media I realize we are making progress! I’m seeing more women with meat on their bones compared to stick thin model types. This brings a smile to my face. What also brings a smile to my face is that these women look much more happy. I guess when you aren’t constantly counting carbohydrates or slaving away 6+ hours in a gym with a personal trainer it would make you smile more. Or that’s how I see it…

After noticing this, I did a small survey the other day on what body types men prefer in women for the hell of it. Only 7 guys were brave enough to answer even though I told them no names would be used. I guess holding a pitchfork in one hand while cornering them didn’t help any. Joking! It wasn’t a huge success like I’d hoped for, but beggars can’t be choosers. The little bit of answers I did receive gave me a short but definite awareness. Curious yet? Drum roll, please. Here are the results (remember- this was a spur of the moment research project and only involved a few guys between the ages of 21-58):

  • Curvy and athletic- 3
  • Skinny and athletic- 2
  • Athletic-0
  • More to love-0
  • Doesn’t matter when I’m in love-1
  • Doesn’t care as long as she’s got tits (I know this option could’ve been labeled
  • different but it’s a direct answer so I figured what the hell right?)-1

These preferences were somewhat obvious in our society today and hopeful in a way. Most men out there like women with meat on their bones (which is good news for those of us with curves). Well muscly meat. I’m not even sure that’s a word, but just go with it. Just wanted to clear that up if anyone had any misconstrued opinions about it all. My 7-ish men were fantastic lab rats. Kudos. Also…I apologize if my last blog offended any women out there who read it that were blessed with naturally having less than 15% body fat. I do envy you and know you’re just born that way. That sounded like part of a Lady Gaga song…err…anyways…I’m also sad to announce that my partner Lauren won’t be joining us for anymore blogs. She’s tied up in summer college classes and saving the world. What an overachiever right? Nah, but really I’m disappointed you won’t get to hear her opinions on hot topics. Guess you’re all mine now. Muahaha! *grins mischievously while rubbing hands together*

On a more serious note, what it really all boils down to is how comfortable you are in your own skin and with your body. What matters even more so than that is that you’re healthy. Also, not every blog I post will be about weight issues. Promise!

-Candice-

We know you’re great; do you?

Today there’s something that has been on my mind lately that I know many girls

of all ages have suffered without for years; self-esteem. In the dictionary, you

will notice that the definition of self-esteem is “a confidence and satisfaction

in oneself: self respect”. I had to look it up because I had forgotten what it meant, which is

pretty sad.

Confidence can consist of many things. Beauty, brains, power, and control are only a few.

I’ve noticed in this day and age younger girls are looking way older. Starting

off as early as 12 or 13 wearing makeup and dressing like their older sisters or

mothers. Back when I was a kid, I played dress up, but still loved being a kid.

Getting dirty and not caring how my hair looked was a daily ritual for me.

Why do so many girls start off so young lacking this major part in their

personalities? Is it our society constantly portraying that thin is beautiful?

Or is it the embarrassment or humiliation one might feel if they are labeled

uncool for being too smart or not smart enough in school?

As each decade passes, society gets even stricter about what its definition of

beauty is. The definition of beauty is in fact “the quality or aggregate of

qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably

exalts the mind or spirit”. Everyone has their own definition of beauty of

course, but natural beauty is something women should be proud of. The world of

makeup has put quite a damper on natural beauty. Some women can’t even leave

their homes without some sort of it on. If it makes you feel beautiful go for it,

but is it really who you are?

(Ignore the crappy iPhone quality camera) here is an unedited photo of me with no makeup on.

Back in the day, women were loved for being curvy and voluptuous. Nowadays

that’s changed to skin and bones. The Greeks had it right. Take a look at the

statues of the Greek goddesses. None of them were skinny and perfect yet they were

revered. If you think about it, women are allowed to have curves and actually are

supposed to in order to raise children. Does “child bearing hips” come to mind?

Years ago when I was a fourth grader, I remember becoming obsessed with the

Olsen twins. I thought they were the bees knees. That obsession led to my

constant thoughts of thinking I had to be skinny. I am thankful (and actually

surprised) that I never developed an eating disorder because of these thoughts.

My obsession turned into an idea that has stayed with me to this day. Back then

I focused on the characteristics that skinny girls had such as their hip bones

poking out and I even noticed collar bones. I would spend hours in the mirror

tucked away in my bedroom trying to make my stomach look a certain way or move

my shoulders different ways in order to make my collar bone show. Not only do I

look at myself in the mirror and only sometimes like what I see, but I also don’t love

myself like I should no matter how many good things I do. Many, if not all, of

us have SO much to be thankful for. Things we overlook on a daily basis. Even

knowing those things doesn’t help does it? Maybe one day it will. I’m not saying

every person out there doesn’t count their blessings every day, but you got to

admit…not many probably do.

To me, every girl is beautiful in her own unique way. Big, small, short, tall.

It doesn’t matter. We were all created a different way by the genes of our

parents who love us for who we are. Why can’t we simply give ourselves a break

and do the same? Because it’s impossible. We will probably never be happy with

what we’ve got until it’s taken away from us. The only thing we can do to love

ourselves is to cut us some slack. Everyone makes mistakes and that’s something

we’ve got to understand. So what if you’ve got a pimple in the middle of your

forehead that makeup can’t cover or didn’t ace that test like you thought you would. Those little

imperfections make us who we are and that’s what we should never ever forget.

If perfect people existed do you think you would want to meet one? Think about

that…

Stay tuned for Lauren’s blog on self esteem later on this week!

-Candice-