Shalloween

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It’s currently 10:51pm and I find myself lying wide awake in bed, with thoughts of my inadequacy floating through my head.

It’s Halloween.

For some reason, I felt entirely too lonely all day today.

I blame all of the cute couple’s costumes I saw on Facebook. Or overheard people discussing randomly.

Halloween is sounding a lot like Valentine’s Day. Shit.

Loneliness hits in bouts. Not all the time, every day, like depression or whatever, but just enough at certain points to really fuck up someone’s day.

“Hey! Surprise! You’re alone. Sucks to be you.”

At the moment, I am bitching about being single instead of going out hunting for a man because believe me- I’ve tried that before too, didn’t work either. This is much less humiliating in my opinion. The lazy girl’s way out. For tonight anyways.

And to make matters worse, my pals I usually vent to are all out with their boyfriends and whatever having a blast, overdosing on delicious candy, and possibly sexy times.

Is there an overdose for sexy times? Probably not.

Sometimes the stress of a boyfriend doesn’t seem that bad at all. Sometimes…

C

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A magical place all to myself

A genie has granted your wish to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?

My perfect place for reading and writing would be in a small, cozy cabin with great, big bay windows surrounded by greenery. I don’t know what it is about cabins, but they always make me want to cuddle up under a blanket by a fire and do nothing but read or write. Of course during the summer there would be no blanket or fire going. I guess the location for this cabin would be in the woods far from distractions and noise. I would like it to be in the mountains where it’s chilly year round. Is there such a place? Not in Louisiana. That’s for damn sure.

Maybe like this...

Maybe like this…

My description reminds me of a cabin in a Stephen King book. Or movie. Like Secret Window or Misery. Neither of those are pleasant. Hmm…

I would want a big comfy chair to read in. Or perhaps a swinging chair. A chair that beckons you to sit in it for hours in your pajamas and do absolutely nothing.

Comfortable-Chairs

OR…

contemporary-outdoor-chairs

 

I can dream, can’t I?

Enjoy your weekend!

 

C

Alone time isn’t always ideal

“What’s your ideal Saturday morning? Are you doing those things this morning? Why not?”

My ideal Saturday morning wouldn’t be what happened this morning AT ALL.

My ideal Saturday morning would be to sleep as late as I want (usually 8-9am), have a delicious breakfast not caring how many calories I took in (not that I count), and just be lazy without feeling bad for it.

I usually am bombarded with piles of laundry, cleaning house, homework, studying, blah blah blah. Things that make me worry causing me to wake up early and hurry my weekend away.

Weekends should be a time to be lazy and carefree, but more than often they aren’t.

Today was one of the worst Saturdays I’ve had in awhile.

It started off good. I cleaned, did laundry, wrote my paper for anatomy then played around on my computer. I get a phone call from my dad saying we are going to my grandparents house when he gets off work. This kind of messed up my plans. I needed to run to the library to print my paper and make copies of my study materials for my anatomy final Tuesday. See, my car has been acting up. Some days it starts, some days it doesn’t. Most days it acts like a piece of shit.

So anyways…

Since my dad took his good car to work I was stuck with my P.O.S. I decided to ignore my dads advice and took my car out. After running to the drugstore a couple blocks away, I got back in my car and what do ya know it wouldn’t start. I silently freaked out inside and hesitantly called my dad. I knew he wouldn’t be happy.

A few minutes later, one of my aunts was on her way to pick me up and drop me off at home.

30 minutes later…she shows up and greets me with a scowl.

Long story short…it sucked. It’s like when you eff up people make matters worse. It’s almost like they can feel how bad of a day you’re having and jump on it.

After crying my eyes out for being stubborn, I picked myself up and bravely awaited my father’s arrival. As soon as he got home, we hopped in his car and drove to my P.O.S. After hoping and praying (I hardly do that so you know it was serious), the car FINALLY started relieving both of us from having to bother anyone to tow it the few blocks home. Or ruining dad’s good car.

WHAT A DAY IT WAS!

To say I have bad luck is an understatement.

So yeah, on a typical Saturday I may not be spending it ideally but I’m not having heart attacks over and over because my stress levels are in the hundreds.

C