One of the most pitiful things…

When boys are sick. It’s got to be the most sad thing to see. Yes, I’m aware that some milk it for all it’s worth but not every single one does it. Not purposefully at least.

It’s like seeing a puppy beg for food. A baby cry. An elderly person cross the road with their walker.

It’s PITIFUL!

My boyfriend got food poisoning from our dinner yesterday and had to stay home from work today. So after I worked an almost 9 hour shift I shot over and arrived with medicine and some foods that help with tummy issues.

I walk in to the sight of my love huddled up on the couch under a blanket with his hoodie on and his glasses. Too adorable for his own good. I swear! When us women are sick, we just look terrifying. Like death warmed up after being hit by a bus.

No offense.

I know my boyfriend is sick, but he probably attempted to look as sad as possible. So I took the bait and cooked us some Mac and cheese and cleaned up his kitchen and…yeah. Oh well. Shit happens.

I guess we fall for it because they lose their masculinity and we feel we need to rescue them like they do with us. Their helplessness is adorable.

C

Long lost blogger: FOUND!

I’m alive!

A lot has been happening.
Remember that guy I started going out with on dates a few months ago? Well, he didn’t murder me and everything is fine. Actually, it’s very good. He’s now my boyfriend.

Yep, you heard me. Boyfriend. Not boy friend, but boyfriend. And I’m in love.

(Insert barfing noises here)

Totally joking.

But yes. We’ve been officially together since early March and it has been great. He’s a wonderful guy and I’m so lucky to have met him.

He’s pretty much the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.

Especially compared to the 2 train wrecks I had before him. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t know a great guy when I dated one. Until now.

So aside from him and my new job (yes, I quit Starbucks! Woo!), I have been pretty damn busy. But more about all of that later.

Just wanted to tell y’all, I’m alive and wasn’t murdered by a crazy guy online.

And soon I will tell you some of my juicy (mostly) experiences I’ve had since my last post.

I missed writing. Can’t wait to start again!

Until later…

C

First date jitters?

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I took the leap!

I went on a first date with a fella I met on the dating website and to my surprise he was…NORMAL. And quite a gentleman as well.

Tonight is date #2. Typical movie theater date. And guess what? I’m totally alright with it.

I think I’m definitely interested in him, what’s not to like? He’s an attractive, successful, 24-year-old engineer with his own place and a strong head on his shoulders (or at least it seems so far!)

And not once did he try to bring up anything sexual or touch me in any way that suggested something otherwise. At the end of date #1 we hugged.

I will admit…I’m not putting all my eggs in 1 basket just in case though. Yet, anyways…

So there ya have it! I’ll keep you posted.

There’s your sign!

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SHE’S just not that into you if…

She brings a friend along when you’re supposed to hang out “alone”. More than once.

She won’t hug, kiss, or make out with you (and gives you a funny look afterwards that she can’t quite hide if any of those DO happen).

She won’t stand very close to you in public (or sit too close either). Not even an accidental graze.

She never goes on a date with you (even though she says she will) or doesn’t make any efforts to hang out.

She doesn’t call you and/or she doesn’t pick up when you call. Avoiding someone is much easier with texts.

She talks about her ex-boyfriend WAY too much. Maybe even compares y’all. In front of you.

She makes funny faces (disgusted, mostly) if you embarrass her or talk about something she thinks is stupid. There’s no hiding that.

Just like men, women will get ahold of you eventually (when they get tired of waiting on YOU) if they want a future with you.

We WILL make an effort. Trust me.

Sometimes I’m the queen of not being interested in guys and believe me- I’ve done everything on that list and the guys still had no idea I wasn’t into them. Whatever.

So to the men reading this, now you have some sort of idea.

If one or all of these things happen to you, I suggest don’t waste your time on the gal. Plus us women do love the chase just as much as you do so don’t make it too easy on us.

WARNING: all women are not the same so these rules may not apply to some.

There ya have it!

~~

Why is he STILL single?

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Is age just a number?

Sadly, it is not. Not when it comes to relationships anyways.

I once tried to date a 37 year old man. “Tried” being the keyword.

Before I could really start liking him, there was one lingering question that most women ask themselves at least once in their lifetime- “why is he still single?”

Yes.

Why is he???

The even odder (in my opinion) was why hadn’t he EVER gotten married. Hell, even being divorced means he at least had some qualities a woman fell for, even if only for a limited amount of time, but single for 37 years? Nah…

And I found out why indeed when I went on the first and last date with him.

Which brings me to my post subject- does age matter?

Yes it does.

Why does it matter?

Because to me (not every girl- that goes for you “kittens” out there) there is a reason that man is still single. A pretty big one.

Recently one of my coworkers had gotten hit on by a 33 year old customer. She’s 20. He didn’t seem to mind as much as she did about their age difference. He’s nice (sent her flowers at work for all to see), good looking, loaded (from what she’s told me), and from the looks of it not an ax murderer- so why on earth is this dude still available?

Well, she won’t be finding out since the age gap is creeping her out a bit, but it makes you wonder.

Older men (or women) who hit on and entertain the idea of dating a much younger person can be quite unsettling.

Are they perverts?

Are they mentally unstable people who escaped an asylum?

Questions like this seem to pop up.

I know it was one of the biggest issues when I tried to like the 37 year old. Turned out, age wasn’t the only “flaw”. His immaturity and just ew-ness did it in for me.

Farting beside me in the movie theater when we are the only ones around? No. Blowing his nose into a cloth napkin at the dinner table with my friends? No. Saying things my teenager friends won’t even say in public because they are even too embarrassed to say them? No.

No need to ask why he’s single still.

I know this isn’t always the case I hope, but it seems to be somewhat of a pattern when something of this nature surfaces.

I think I will just stick to men 10 years older and less when searching because I’m afraid age does matter in my book.

C

Deprivation and douchebags

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I’ve noticed something:

A guy can either get cuter or uglier.

When you like a guy, he naturally becomes more attractive even if he isn’t really. When you seem to be un-attracted to a guy, he gets uglier each day. I think you either find more things you like or find more things you dislike.

A coworker of mine for example- when I first met him I thought he was a douchebag, which he can be very easily even now, but as I got to know him and talk to him, he slowly got more attractive. He’s not the typical hunk for sure. Think of a grouchy, grungy band dude. Or that’s what most people think of him at first. Including myself.

Just a funny thing I noticed today at work when every time I walked by this coworker of mine I wanted to rip his clothes off and jump his bones.

Maybe I’m just that…deprived.

C

Shalloween

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It’s currently 10:51pm and I find myself lying wide awake in bed, with thoughts of my inadequacy floating through my head.

It’s Halloween.

For some reason, I felt entirely too lonely all day today.

I blame all of the cute couple’s costumes I saw on Facebook. Or overheard people discussing randomly.

Halloween is sounding a lot like Valentine’s Day. Shit.

Loneliness hits in bouts. Not all the time, every day, like depression or whatever, but just enough at certain points to really fuck up someone’s day.

“Hey! Surprise! You’re alone. Sucks to be you.”

At the moment, I am bitching about being single instead of going out hunting for a man because believe me- I’ve tried that before too, didn’t work either. This is much less humiliating in my opinion. The lazy girl’s way out. For tonight anyways.

And to make matters worse, my pals I usually vent to are all out with their boyfriends and whatever having a blast, overdosing on delicious candy, and possibly sexy times.

Is there an overdose for sexy times? Probably not.

Sometimes the stress of a boyfriend doesn’t seem that bad at all. Sometimes…

C

Tic-tac-toe and other games we play

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So today I want to ramble on (shortly) about game playing or role playing if you must. The games we play in life to get what we want. Jobs, significant others, material objects- that sort of thing.

In particular, the games or roles we play in relationships or in this case working up to relationships.

Recently, while discussing my lack of luck with the opposite sex lately, I talked to my best man friend (who since he’s bisexual has played both sides) about what it is I’ve been doing…wrong.

He told me the following:

1) guys don’t like too smart of a girl- they like to be the smart ones because they enjoy being in control and/or being able to pull the wool over her eyes

2) guys don’t like too bold of a girl- they want to make the first move; therefore, they like a girl with mystery

3) guys like girls who play hard to get, but not overly so- the chase loses it’s glitter if it’s impossible of a challenge

4) guys like BJs- yes, that’s the first time I’ve wrote that in a blog post- don’t shoot me

I’m assuming those “rules” don’t apply to every SINGLE guy out there, but I’m guessing the majority in some way or another.

Dating isn’t an easy task. There are apparently certain rules each sex should follow in order to get the ball rolling.

Perfect discussion for hump day, eh?!

C

The woes of womanhood…

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Let me just say one thing right now– being a woman SUCKS.

And let me just say one other thing right now– no matter what we tell you men about our lives, experiences, thoughts– you still have NO idea what it’s like to be us.

Example #1– the photo above. That’s my pregnancy test I took earlier today. My first one ever, in fact. That little stick can be the cause for tears– either of joy or dread. Today was joy for me. Mostly because it was (re)assurance in a BIG way.

Don’t get me wrong, sex is an awesome, wonderful thing, but damn! That fit of sensual passion that lasts about 20 minutes (hopefully) or so can cause quite a tizzy in a woman’s emotions. Well, mine anyways. Especially when it wasn’t satisfying for me. I won’t even go into that tonight.

I even went the extra 10 (not just 1!) miles and used all sorts of protection. Even went as far to use it as a deal or no deal kind of thing– use condoms and other rightfully appropriate actions during and after sex or it’s not happening buddy.

It seems even those didn’t calm my mind. It’s like once the “could I be pregnant?” thought enters a woman’s mind, it doesn’t leave until she has reassured herself in as many ways as possible. Even if that means telling all of her close friends about the situation and getting their 2 cents on it.

And it seems no matter how many “dude, you’re fine”‘s I get, that doesn’t help either.

So that’s where the pregnancy test comes in– the only assurance out there that truly calms my jittery and anxious mind.

So…why does the mere thought of pregnancy scare the living shit out of me? Because it takes several key components to make it successful: money, a significant other, and a stable environment- none of which I truly have.

Raising a child is not in my life plans at the moment. Not even close.

I want to raise that child properly.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way for me not to freak out is to not have sex anymore until I’m either in:

A) a very serious relationship

Or

B) married

Yep, those are my new options.

Or I could become a nun.

The end.

C

The ex is not a disappearing act

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Lately I have been thinking about my ex boyfriends too frequently. I don’t know if it’s because I miss/love(d) them OR if it’s because they are unattainable (whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally).

The break-up between you and the now ex boyfriend wasn’t painful enough so they remain in our thoughts and possibly even our fantasies and torture the shit out of us. Or that’s how I feel.

My most recent (and most liked) ex boyfriends make appearances in my dreams, nightmares, and thoughts way too often. I never really remember the dreams about them clearly, but I know one thing. Or should I say, feel one thing- I know I miss them. That’s bad enough.

The last I heard they both have serious girlfriends and I am still single. Am I just waiting for a guy to come along that reminds me of one of them? Or am I just in a love rut? Maybe both?

Do ex boyfriends really ever leave our minds? Or are they doomed to haunt us forever?

Right now, it feels like the latter.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Pretty please.

C