Let me just say one thing right now– being a woman SUCKS.
And let me just say one other thing right now– no matter what we tell you men about our lives, experiences, thoughts– you still have NO idea what it’s like to be us.
Example #1– the photo above. That’s my pregnancy test I took earlier today. My first one ever, in fact. That little stick can be the cause for tears– either of joy or dread. Today was joy for me. Mostly because it was (re)assurance in a BIG way.
Don’t get me wrong, sex is an awesome, wonderful thing, but damn! That fit of sensual passion that lasts about 20 minutes (hopefully) or so can cause quite a tizzy in a woman’s emotions. Well, mine anyways. Especially when it wasn’t satisfying for me. I won’t even go into that tonight.
I even went the extra 10 (not just 1!) miles and used all sorts of protection. Even went as far to use it as a deal or no deal kind of thing– use condoms and other rightfully appropriate actions during and after sex or it’s not happening buddy.
It seems even those didn’t calm my mind. It’s like once the “could I be pregnant?” thought enters a woman’s mind, it doesn’t leave until she has reassured herself in as many ways as possible. Even if that means telling all of her close friends about the situation and getting their 2 cents on it.
And it seems no matter how many “dude, you’re fine”‘s I get, that doesn’t help either.
So that’s where the pregnancy test comes in– the only assurance out there that truly calms my jittery and anxious mind.
So…why does the mere thought of pregnancy scare the living shit out of me? Because it takes several key components to make it successful: money, a significant other, and a stable environment- none of which I truly have.
Raising a child is not in my life plans at the moment. Not even close.
I want to raise that child properly.
I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way for me not to freak out is to not have sex anymore until I’m either in:
A) a very serious relationship
Yep, those are my new options.
Or I could become a nun.