Okay, so I have quite a few friends who are totally into the whole idea of zodiac signs and horoscopes and all that jazz. I will admit, I do and can get into it most days because I find it fascinating at how on point some of the descriptions can be.
However, I do not think they are powerful enough to truly tell us who we are, what we like, our strengths and weaknesses and so on. Yes, I believe people have traits in common depending on when they are born, but only to an extent. I think nature and nurture play major parts in who we are as a person.
I am a Libra. Apparently, this is supposed to be “my” month. Or whatever.
I do have one trait I’d like to rant, rave, and discuss today.
I have been realizing this more often each day and I don’t particularly like it.
I am obsessive.
I don’t mean I have OCD and want to clean everything all the time or touch doorknobs 5 times before I can leave rooms.
I am a little different than that. I am obsessive when it comes to people. Not the stalker way, but just the way that includes (but is not limited to) asking MANY questions that most people wouldn’t ask in certain situations and wanting to be in control of as much as I can be. Now, I am more than 50% sure if you read my blogs on a semi-regular basis that you have ALREADY witnessed this. I do not hide it well (unfortunately).
Case in point #1- men. I feel for them because they get the majority of this trait of mine. And my closest friends.
I realized yesterday how bad I can get. I even had my ex boyfriend call me insatiable. I am insatiable, which isn’t good when it comes to finding or keeping, I should say, a boyfriend. Or boy toy.
Don’t you hate when you have a realization about yourself and you don’t like it… at all? Like it pisses you off because you are unable to control that part of yourself.
My realization: I am super picky when it comes to men because I have high expectations/standards that not many can fill and even though I know NO ONE is perfect and never will be it does not help me lower them in any way. Which then leads to myself enjoying the “chase” and when I do find a guy who has been caught in my web, I can’t seem to want to keep them. I end up losing interest for some reason or another and let them go…almost every single time.
Which is why my ex called me insatiable. If you don’t know what that means, I’ll inform you. It means to “never be satisfied”. Rough to accept.
SO! I will either be single forever OR have to somehow talk myself into lowering my standards and just chill. Or a knight in shining armor will come along and be (almost) everything I want in a significant other and we will live happily ever after.
A girl can dream…