When we are lonely for companionship or whatever the case may be, we tend to get desperate a.k.a. going out with that guy from your yoga class who you can’t seem to figure out if he’s straight OR meeting that guy from the bar that looks like he could be the next Ted Bundy. I could go on and on…
When I say desperate, I particularly mean:
a) lowering our standards
b) lowering our expectations.
Why do we do this to ourselves??? There are plenty of other fish in the sea! (I despise that saying even if it does make sense)
Usually when I go down this dark road, I snap out of it just in time to see the dead end looming up ahead, but not everyone is so fortunate.
I know of women who are NEVER single. Literally. They break up or get dumped by their boyfriend then a week later (if that) they have found another guy who they just KNOW is “the one”. It’s like a vicious cycle that doesn’t end. I can honestly say, I am not that type. Thank goodness.
It’s kind of like Shallow Hal. Hal sees what he WANTS to see, which isn’t what is actually in front of him. I think we do that.
SO WHAT if he’s a fat slob and jobless- he compliments me and will get a gym membership and a job when we start dating. SO WHAT if he’s barely 5 feet tall and I can’t wear heels around him, once I fall in love with him none of that will matter.
Now of course I try not to be THAT shallow, but I do have my standards.
Instead of getting to that stage, how can we reverse it to where it either doesn’t happen at all OR flies by with a passing glance?
Here’s how (according to me, not some dating guru):
1) Surround yourself with friends and/or family (people you love and have good times with)
2) Make a list of all the things you can’t do if you had a significant other (trust me, the list is long and pretty awesome)
3) Hang out with people who aren’t in relationships and/or don’t talk about how their boyfriend or girlfriend is just “so amazing” 24/7
I’ve realized when I’m not around people who are “taken”, I feel better about that aspect of my life and myself. It’s not a constant reminder- “hey you’re single and alone!”
But it does help with not constantly reminding you that you’re single and, dare I say it, FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!
Didn’t think of that, did you?
My intentions of this post are NOT to discourage you from dating or getting a boyfriend/girlfriend in any way, it’s to help ease the pain (if there is any) of that tough in-between relationship stage.
So instead of laying around on the couch, watching romantic comedies, wishing you had a boyfriend as you desperately shovel ice cream into your mouth, you could be out having a blast with your pals and not even thinking about relationships!
It’s more healthy and less expensive since you won’t have to buy a whole new wardobe due to the weight gain from all of the ice cream and candy bars you’ve eaten.