How to get what YOU want

I am really beginning to like the Oprah magazine newsletters I get in my e-mail. Although I don’t read them all, some do catch my eye. This one in particular did today. The title of the article was 4 Steps to Aha!: How to Figure Out Exactly What You Want. I started to read it thinking it was going to be something complicated and/or expensive, but it turns out it’s not. The author Martha Beck said there are 4 steps to figure out what you want and to get what you want. I thought this would be a good way to start off your work week…

When you look at these steps they don’t seem to be that tricky if only you focus and concentrate on what you want. It seems I am always wanting something I can’t have. One of the hardest moments in life sometimes is finding out exactly what you want. Kind of like when you’re hungry…you know you’re hungry, but you just can’t seem to pinpoint what exactly you want to eat. It frustrates you making you get irritated and at times so irritated you scream or throw things and then pout.

This is a summary of the article. The full article is here

I figured if you didn’t want to go exploring on the internet, I’d bring it right here to you.

Step 1: Pushback– the moment when you start complaining about something. You need to figure out what exactly you are complaining about. Figure out the flaws in the issue precisely so that you can eliminate them or accept them. “The more specific you are about what upsets you, and why, the clearer you can make your desires.” said Martha. This makes perfect sense if you think about it. We get mad at least once everyday and then complain about it. That’s human nature, but figuring out what exactly is making us mad opens the door to getting over it.

Step 2: Possibilities– After you’ve complained about the Pushback, use your imagination to put yourself in a different environment or situation. Like if you don’t like being stuck at home on a Saturday night with no vehicle imagine you’re in a different city doing something you like or whatever. For me, it would be New York City and I would be roaming the sidewalks of Central Park. “Each time you feel your Pushback, ride that energy and use it to imagine outrageously awesome Possibilities” Martha said.

Step 3: Preferences– “If you stay loose and relaxed as you’re conjuring Possibilities, you’ll notice that some of them leave you feeling intrigued, curious, a bit lighter” said Martha. Focus on exactly what your preferences are. Having feelings, like curiosity, will draw you into finding out more information about that specific want allowing you to see all of the possibilities.

Step 4: Pinpoints– “If you’re playful and patient, the Preferences forming in your consciousness will eventually become clear enough to describe in words” Martha said. This will allow you to pinpoint exactly what you want. For example, instead of just wanting food you’ll want a turkey sandwich with lettuce, tomato, salt, pepper, mayonnaise, and mustard on toasted bread with a side of potato chips and a Coke. Now of course my examples are not the biggest life dilemmas you’ll come across, but you should begin to see what she’s talking about. After you have pinpointed what you want, sit and ponder it for awhile, asking yourself, “what would be even better than that?”

I know I added in a few quotes, but I felt I was not able to explain these steps as well as the author. Go figure! I hope these steps hit home and make you realize what exactly you want in life so that you may be happy and fulfilled some day!

Happy Monday!



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