A girl’s best ally is her best friend

I was thinking the other day how blessed I am to have such great, close friends. Being an only child, I hold them very dear to my heart. I have made many friends throughout my 21 years and lost many too, but that is the beauty of life. If those people were meant to stay in your life they would’ve.

I used to get so mad at my parents for moving me around so much. Having been to about 8 different schools in about 6 different states up until high school, I definitely made my share of friends. Distance in any kind of relationship can put a strain on it, but it does not mean it has to end. I am proving that right this minute. I have quite a few very close friends in different cities and states as we speak. Cell phones sure do come in handy in situations like these. And Facebook. And e-mail. Anyways…

When I moved from Lake Charles to Baton Rouge a few weeks ago, the saddest and hardest part for me was leaving my best friends. That means they are some damn good friends because that’s never really happened before. Of course you can always make new ones or that’s what they say, but if you’re a mostly shy and not outgoing person like me it’s kind of hard, huh?

My best friends have saved my life a time or two. Not jumped in front of a bullet or anything that you’d see in a movie (although I know they would), but on those days when I thought my life was over from either depression, humiliation, or heart break they were the ones who talked me into getting back on that horse and toughing it out. I am very thankful for that.

What defines a true friend? Well, my fellow bloggers, that is a good question. To me, a friend must have a few specific qualities. They must be (at one point or another, if not at all times): trustworthy, caring, friendly, unselfish, and honest. Almost all of my friends have all of those qualities in them. We are only human so obviously we make mistakes, but you shouldn’t let mistakes get in the way of your friendships. Real friends are supposed to make you a better person and vise versa; not persuade and pressure you to be something you’re not or do something you would never normally do. That’s not a friendship at all. They can be your strongest ally, but can also be your worst enemy. I’ve had best friends turn in to enemies and it wasn’t fun, but we apologized and forgave each other and moved on. That’s the true definition of friendship. Being able to forgive and forget, but learning from it in the mean time and moving on with the relationship. Not only do friends forgive, but they also accept you for who you truly are and love you anyways. Of course, (and I’m guilty of this too) friends will try to help you make important decisions and lead you on the right path, but even when you take the wrong path a true friend will be waiting at the end of that road. They may slap some sense into you, but hey I’m sure it was needed.

I really hate (I usually only use that word to describe math or something, but I felt it was needed) when people you treat as best friends turn out to be backstabbing villains. It has been said (I don’t know by who) that losing a best friend in whatever way is like a death. I believe it. They become like family and you start to rely on them to be there with you every day.

When the worst happens and you find yourself torn between trying to make things work with that friend you’ve had since you were young or letting them go, it’s very tough, but possible. Thankfully, the ones I’ve had to let go were for the better. When a “friend” causes you so much stress and angst that you can’t possibly relax around them, it’s time. For whatever reason it was that they made you decide to let them go, you’ve got to forgive them and yourself. That’s a lesson I learned pretty recently. I forgave and apologized, but even though they didn’t forgive me it’s not my problem anymore. You can only do so much. A friendship is like a relationship when it comes to it taking both sides to work. Anything that is one-sided will eventually die. Plus it’s not fair to either person.

So if you have any “ex” friends that ended on bad terms with you, try and make it right. I was inspired by one of my friends to make a couple right so maybe this post today will inspire you. I can only hope.

Until next time…

-Candice-

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